Everyone is just like me

We have this tendency to always look at the world from our own perspective and think that everyone is just like us. I was reminded of that this afternoon as I returned to work from lunch.

I parked on the second floor of the parking deck and pushed the button to call the elevator. There are two elevators in the parking deck, but only was working. A lady also returning from lunch arrived at the elevator at the same time I did. We could tell that the elevator was currently on the lowest floor. We watched it rise past us and come to rest on the fifth floor. We then watched it return down to pick us up.

There was no one on the elevator as we entered. The lady acted surprise and commented that she had expected someone else to be on the elevator since it had gone up to the fifth floor. Her initial response is that since she was returning from lunch, everybody must be returning from lunch. I realized at that moment, that I too had subconsciously expected someone else to be on the elevator. The only difference was, that as soon as saw an empty elevator, I re-evaluated my expectation and my mind did not even raise a blip as to a contradiction in my expectations and the reality with which I was faced. Her mind, though, refused to accept the reality and caused her to be surprised.

I replied to her that most likely someone had ridden the elevator up to the fifth floor and then, the elevator had returned to pick us up. She hesitantly agreed that indeed that was a possibility, but I could see her mind continuing to work. The concept clicked in her head, and she assuredly said, "Yes, that must have been what happened."

It is the nature of man to think that everyone acts just like him, thinks just like, behaves like him. I think this causes a lot of our miscommunication and strains in our relationships. We are expecting (even though we don't realize it) to be dealing with someone who thinks the same way we do. Now, cognitively, we understand that this is not the case. However, subconsciously we still maintain the expectation. This is because we as humans are innately selfish and self-centered and can only think outside ourselves with great difficulty.

There are, of course, exceptions to this. There are some people who can naturally see through other people's eyes. Others have been trained to do this. To some degree we can all think outside of ourselves and "think" like another person, especially for those we love. Because I have spent so much time with Erin, I know (most of the time...she does surprise me a lot, though) how she thinks, how she will react. I have noticed, though, that there is a very select group of people who can almost instantly understand how a person thinks. These people frighten me because many of them have used their extraordinary talent to take advantage of people or to manipulate them for their own end.