Weak stomachs need not apply

I have an amazingly weak stomach. I think Noah has the Rotavirus (rotovirus) which is one of the most common causes of diarrhea in infants. The astute among you can see how these two things are causing a conflict. Yesterday, its 10:00 PM and Erin heads to bed and Noah wakes up for his bottle. I start feeding him when he begins filling his diaper with bubbly gushes. A malodorous stench knocks me backward. I jump up, run into our bedroom and get Erin up to change his diaper knowing I will never survive the ordeal. No big deal, really, as she had just gone to bed.

It is 1:20 AM this morning (you know 30 minutes ago) and Noah awakes. According to Bowman House Rule 24, subsection C, Paragraph 2, all feedings of infants prior to the 2:00 AM hour clearly fall into the domain of the paternal parental unit (i.e., the daddy, that's me). I am awaken by Erin to fulfill my parental obligation. I make a bottle, get the boy up and began to try and feed him. He doesn't want the bottle...pushes it away...squirms in my arms...and suddenly begins filling his diaper with bubbly gushes. The stench is overbearing...but it is 1:30 AM and I don't want to wake Erin up. I take Noah to the changing table in his room. I take a deep breath and hold it. Quickly I unbutton his PJs and push them around his waist. Stink emanates from him. Placing my hand on his stomach, I turn away and breathe...steeling myself for the inevitable. "You can do it!" I shout to myself. "Are you a man?" "Are you going to let a little foul-smelling diaper beat you?" "Super Dad! Super Dad! Super Dad!" Gritting my teeth, I quickly turn and un hook the diaper, pull it back...and erupt into a gagging episode. Barely holding back the vomit building up inside, I close the diaper and refasten it. Gasping for air I regain my composure and run like a little girl to the bedroom and call for reinforcements.

Yes. I hang my head in shame for I have failed. I have been beaten. Crushed by noxious fumes. O woe is me, woe is me. I have let my son down as a father. I have let my wife down as a husband. Rousing her from her blissful sleep to step in where I failed. I am so sorry honey. I really did try...but like I said, I have very weak stomach.

Well, the bad news is that the diarrhea from rotovirus lasts about 9 days. So by Friday of next week I should be able to resume diaper changing duties. However, there is also good news...I just saved a bunch of money...