Juliet is gone

Gone, but not forgotten. After nine years of living with us, Juliet has roamed out of our lives. I'm not sure I can write this.

This morning, the vet called and said that she was unable to draw off any of the fluid around Juliet's organs and the medicine did no good. The x-rays still showed nothing becuase of the excess fluid in her body. She referred us to the top vet clinic in Montgomery for an ultra-sound.

Erin took Juliet to the vet in Montgomery and then went to school. After school she picked me up from work and we went to see the vet togather. The ultra-sound revealed a tumor in the right ventricle of Juliet's heart that took up over half of the space. This tumor was causing blood to back back up and saturate the liver and other organs. These other organs were giving off the excess fluid that was causing her to swell, putting pressure on her stomach (which was why she wasn't eating), and putting pressure on her lungs causing her to have trouble breathing.

While the vet was not hopeful, he did mention that he wasn't exactly sure what the mass in her heart was and that they could send the ultrasound to a radiograph specialist to know how to treat it. However, the decision is ours and our normal vet's, so we packed Juliet back up in the car and drove back to Millbrook and picked-up Mihaela from the daycare.

We then went to our vet's office where were escorted to an exam room that was obviously designed to be a grieving room. The vet came in and gave us the news that there was really nothing more that could be done for Juliet and we made the right, but difficult, choice of having her put to sleep so that she would not suffer anymore. Our vet gave us 10-15 minutes with her and we loved on her for the last time. Mihaela hugged and kissed Juliet and Erin and I just cried and cried and cried.

The vet returned with the proper paperwork for us to sign and then asked us if we wanted to stay and watch the procedure. We declined. I just didn't want the image of her drifting off into the never-ending sleep to be burned in my mind. We left via a side door, both of us barely able to walk to the car because of the tear-blurred vision.

We came home and as I was getting Mihaela out of her car seat she made the panting sound that she uses to call Juliet and we cried some more. Our Juliet, our first "child", has passed away and it hurts so much...so much more than I would have expected. I remember clearly the day we got her. I remember how she would watch us through the window when we would leave and jump on us when we would get home. I remember walking thourgh chest-high snow, with her bounding on the top of it without a care in the world. I remember cuddling up on the couch and holding her tight time after time we went to fertility and didn't concieve. I remember rough-housing on the floor with her, letting her chew my arm and hand all up. We used to play tag in the backyard. She would run after me and "get me" and then I would run after her and she would try to avoid me. I would finally corner her and "tag" her and pet her...and then she would chase me. I remember loving her...and in her complete dog fashion, loving me back unconditionally. I will miss her.