To: Pluto, 9th Orbiting Body
From: The Sun, Center of Solar System
Re: Demotion For Unplanetary-like Behavior
Pluto,
This memorandum is to advise you of your demotion as a planetary body within this Solar System. As you are aware I have had several discussions with you about your unplanetary-like behavior. It would appear that our previous meetings and agreements have not had the desired effect of changing your behavior.
First, you have not taken the proper steps that we have agreed upon to accumulate an appropriate amount of mass for someone in your position. Secondly, your work area remains cluttered as you appear to have no ability to clear the neighborhood around your orbit. Finally, your eccentric orbit interferes with your co-worker, Neptune, and that takes you well above and below main plane of this Solar System. This has caused disruption is the work environment that can not be tolerated.
Therefore, effective today you will be demoted from your position as "Planet" and assume the position of "Dwarf Planet." We will reconvene in 10,000 years to determine if these obstacles have been overcome and reconsider your status.
Sincerely,
The Sun
cc: The Milky Way
Personnel File
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